what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
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