but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
