i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Randomize
