Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
