No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
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