No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
foreskin is a definite game changer
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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