Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
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