Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
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