Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
Randomize
