Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
He's on the porch naked. Help.
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