it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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