Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Randomize
