are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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