this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
Randomize
