Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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