Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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