i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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