What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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