new low.... made out with someone while peeing
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
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