Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
Randomize
