she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Randomize
