Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
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