It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
