So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Randomize
