I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Randomize
