I would like to be the first to explain to you that if you've woken up with bruised knuckles this morning, it's because last night you tried climbing out of our car window and into the drive through window at maccas. The cashier chick freaked out and slammed the window on you and beat you around the head with her headset thingy.
Shittttttt.
Be not ashamed. It was youtube-worthy.
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
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