This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
Randomize
