If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
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