So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
Randomize
