So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
Randomize
