this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
I skipped work to stalk him.
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
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