whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
Randomize
