you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
