I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
did i walk over a car last night?
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
