Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
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