piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
Randomize
