One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
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