somebody snuck up and got me drunk
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Randomize
