That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
Randomize
