so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Randomize
