If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
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