yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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