Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Randomize
