got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Randomize
