I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Randomize
