Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
