I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
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