I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
