You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Randomize
