then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
