yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Randomize
