that's an acceptable place to lick
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
Randomize
