I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
