Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
Randomize
