i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
